Crappy Crafts I Made at Work

'Flying Pig'
newspaper, balloons, cardboard, wallpaper glue, acrylic paint

'Nutrition Chart'
felt (many colours), scissors, gluestick, marker, glitter

the FAMINES! [as recovered from the notepad feature on my cellphone]:

Thu, Jul 30 12:33am

- the arrested-spastic development of my 52 year old culture [ed: ??] -

the famines.. i apologize for the crowd [ed: small, disinterested].  if you were brunettes proper (in the sense of being brunettes that also had lady parts and were actual ladies) instead of two dudes from edmonton with a penchant for being amazing... i would leave with you in your shitty rental for the horrors of hamilton or guelph or whatever place i don't want to be, but will be... just to be next to your cosmic awesome. to learn and feed my withered and mistreated affections on.  like a pariah.   a sex-crazed ruiner of your everything... 

instead i will settle for your wares - your tapes, a small poster - and conservatively declare, 'bravo!' (...such disco-ordinated coherence among those 8 limbs of yours!)  i feel like chopping off my left hand for the hindrance it caused in my learning guitar-proper at the age of 15.

MOVING APARTy

with Buck Starball and Chang-a-Lang!

Friday, February 26th, 2010 

@ 688 College St. Apt. 2

I threw a party a few weeks ago because I was moving out of my apartment of 4+ years, and because we have always had one around this time; the end of February... sort of as a send off to the shittiest month of the year.  True..  a bunch of people have birthdays then (including me!), but rather than focus on celebrating the same old people again and again... I thought the empty space, this time around, was a good opportunity to celebrate everyone else. 

...Including living space (or our relationship to the places we inhabit).

It was a special night - and not just because it got busted by the cops (12 officers! 7 squad cars!!) - but because of how much of it came from so many friends helping out; and just because!

Whether by driving band gear and furniture back-and-forth, picking up kegs and lasers, or filling up rooms with their installations, rock n' roll or dance parties...  It was really fun to orchestrate and collaborate on the bigger scale!  To witness how wonderful folks can be... how willing they are to contribute if/when asked or given the opportunity... and then have a crap-load of people come out and enjoy themselves with it...

..Thanks again! ...Goodbye apartment!*

* (Yes! This is most-definitely.. super-late, dwelling-on-the-past-type-shit instead of making and writing something new!  ..A half-assed rehashing rather than a respectable documentation of what went on, and I'm sorry for that... but not really.  I don't have the internet on my computer yet and I've had other shit to do.  BLEH!  It's hard to be self-indulgent and on-time sometimes, y'know?!)

Spanish Boots of Spanish Leather

(are all I want for Christmas)

Werner Herzog Wrote a Book I Am Reading; Pt. 2

A sample from Werner Herzog's Conquest of the Useless (pg. 50-51):

Werner Herzog Wrote a Book I Am Reading; Pt. 1

A sample from Werner Herzog's Conquest of the Useless (pg. 16):

Beyond Thunderdome

I had a dream a couple nights ago where I drove a big van down a really steep hill and then rolled it 25 times off a bend and into suburban homes because the breaks wouldn't work.

When I woke up in the dream I was like, 'Holy Fucking Shit!? My head must've exploded all over some poor kid's first afterschool-livingroom-handjob and now I'm dead! DEAD!!' But I wasn't..

It was the next day and I wasn't even in the hospital. My legs had thousands of stitches in them, sticks and whatever to hold things in place, but I could walk. My body was in shock, and my head a little funny or drugged; but everything worked. The only concern I had really, was that there was a gaping hole in my abdomen... with no skin or muscle or anything other than a flap of clear, rectangular-shaped plexi-glass taped across it; covering up some very fucked up and rotten intestines of mine. They were disgusting (but also amazing!). The flap opened from the bottom and you could swoosh things around with your hands (maybe not the best surgeon-al choice?) but otherwise I felt fine.

When my dad was young, he once rolled his 1970 Dodge Challenger down a valley in Pennsylvania - mangling it - but coming out with only some bruising and a concussion. I remember in the dream trying to call him up to let him know that I was in an accident. That I was okay, sure, but more importantly..

..that I totally beat him!

* * *

(BUT ANYWAYS...)

What I think it's really all about is an idea I've been having lately:

I really want to buy a used car, drive it as far into South America as possible (or until it dies), and then blow it up.

I'm thinking of doing this next summer if I can afford it, and after working out some logistical details like whether or not you can actually get a car through the Derien Gap (a stretch of swampland between Panama and Columbia that doesn't seem to have any listed roads), and which giant rainforest insects can kill you? (at this point, I will have to assume all!)

Reasons for doing it/Things I'm sure of...

1. I love Mexican food.
2. I love adventure.
3. I'd like having the real excuse to learn Spanish again.
4. There would be so much to film and write about.
5. If I pull it off (in whatever form).. I will be the most awesome person ever.

And who knows what else I'd find?
..Tomorrow-morrow land?

[to be continued..]

Brian and Rizie Got Married..

..I think they're in love.

7 Old Pictures

Drawing with Down's Syndrome

One of my most favourite people ever is a 22 yr old man with Down's Syndrome, who I've known since I was just starting out in the Special Needs' racket. It's only recently that I changed jobs and am able to hang out with him nearly everyday again. He is hilarious and awesome, and his most favourite thing to do ever is draw! Sometimes he draws pictures of me (because we are best buds!), and so here are some of them:

* From 2007: Notice the attention to detail..
My earplugs and faces on my arms to represent tattoos (and no moustache).

* I dunno.. I think I was hungover this day?!

* From Today: 'We're going to Kensington Market!'

* September 2009:
This is my favourite for some reason, but I'm not sure why?

I just feel that it looks like me. Like it captures my essence perfectly..
and despite the pink moustache and zombie teeth (or maybe because -of ?).**-/-+

..Anyways, I think he's brilliant!!

[EDIT: added pics..]